The Scary & Beautiful Gift of Change

In a conversation on the phone today, my best friend said something brilliant and noteworthy. (He is given to doing this on a whim). He said, “A great many people have compromised their souls in the name of safety and security.” (Told you it was smart. And yes, he actually talks this way, which is one of the reasons why he is fabulous and I love him). And I agree with him – so many of us fear the uncertainty and pain of growth and change to such a degree that we sometimes fight very hard to keep things the same, often sacrificing important budding pieces of ourselves in the process. Of course, I relate to this feeling- though change excites me, it also terrifies me. I fear the prospect of not knowing how things will turn out, and I am not enthusiastic about diving into a story if I don’t know that it has a happy ending tied up with a pretty bow.

The reality is, of course, that we can never really anticipate how our stories will end. And, we cannot keep our circumstances from changing, no matter how hard we try. Change is an inevitable part of life. Beautiful and important things end, or morph themselves into something else, other and new, and we have to ride the currents of them, or  pull our hair out in the process of trying to force them to stay the same (hint – resistance to change is futile). And, as difficult as this is for me to admit as a person that Capital-L Lovescontrol, in reality, our belief that we have control is almost always an illusion.

Change is also a great gift. In times of change, opportunity exists for us to tap into our guts to learn about the nature of our true wants and needs. This is because we really have no other choice –  times of change and transition force us down there, to the murky, sticky places where distraction techniques and the busy-ness of life are (blessedly) no longer effective in drowning  out our inner conversation. We have the distinct privilege of being unable to avoid what our gut is saying to us in these moments. It is rarely so easy to listen to what is stirring inside us as in moments of change.

We are right to take time out to seize the moment and pay attention. These hard and important transitions, times when our bodies are speaking out clearly to us, are almost always a catalyst for growth – a call to manifest ourselves as the phoenix rising from the ashes, a chance to become something different and maybe, something better. As hard as change is to sit with, if we ignore these moments, we pass up our opportunity, and choose to remain as we are. And that person may not be who we are meant to be any longer.

Are you living in a period of transition or change? Is your gut speaking to you, and are you listening? If so, who are you becoming?

Originally posted on my blog, Common Humanity, at Psych To read more, visit


Useful Information

Some frequently asked questions and useful answers.

Online therapy works in the same way as in-office therapy, but is done online, similar to a Skype or FaceTime conversation. Clients are able to have sessions from home, work, or any other convenient location. We meet with clients using a HIPAA-compliant secure platform.

Online therapy allows you to work with us from the comfort of home, or any private location of your choosing. For some, the screen provides an added layer of comfort that makes the challenging work of being vulnerable in therapy a little easier.

Online therapy also creates the unique opportunity for you to work with us without the constraints of proximity! The practice was born in Keene, New Hampshire, but has since grown to service clients anywhere in Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, Connecticut, Vermont, New Jersey, Florida, and New Hampshire.

Online therapy is a great option for clients that travel for work, for college students that go home during the summertime and do not want a break in their sessions, and for anyone with a challenging or inconsistent day-to-day schedule. It is an excellent choice for clients seeking a therapist with a particular specialty that they are unable to find support for locally. Some of our clients report that online therapy makes the vulnerability element of therapy a bit less intimidating.

No. For some clients with more complex symptoms or safety concerns, having a local therapist that is readily available is important in case of crisis or the need for a higher level of care. Online therapy is also a challenge for clients that do not have access to a private, quiet space to be “in session” for the hour, or for those that do not have adequate internet connectivity.

There are several reasons why we don’t accept insurance. The most important are:

Confidentiality. Insurance companies require that your information be shared with them in order to pay for services. We prefer that clients’ information is kept as confidential as possible.

The pressure to diagnose. Insurance companies require that clients are given a mental health diagnosis in order to pay for therapy. We have found that many clients benefit from therapy, but do not meet criteria for a diagnosis. Not using insurance allows clients to access therapy without being given a mental health diagnosis.

Flexibility and freedom. Insurance companies dictate the length and number of sessions they will authorize, as well as when a client is no longer eligible for the benefits of therapy. Because we do not work with insurance panels, you and we can collaborate to determine your individual needs regarding session length, frequency of sessions, and when to terminate therapy.

While we do not accept insurance, many clients choose to submit receipts to their insurance companies to receive reimbursement via out-of-network benefits. We are happy to provide these receipts for you! Please check with your insurance company for details on your benefits.



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