Doing the Next Right Thing.

I wrote recently about choice-making. Here’s why: I find myself at an influx in several ways – I’m unsure of the very important question of what exactly to do next. I am lucky that I have too many rather than too few ideas. While I’ve loved living in a New England “city” in many ways, a recent trip to Philadelphia confirmed that I miss the food and the sounds and the art and the community of a CITY city. I feel ready to go back, I think. Right? Hmmm. 

Not knowing what’s next is a Scary thing. It is on the list of the most anxiety-producing things for those of us that love to hold onto control in the name of self-preservation. When we don’t know what’s next, we can’t prepare ourselves adequately for possible outcomes, and so we have to sit in the discomfort of the Not Knowing. My clients don’t tend to like this, and I don’t tend to, either. 

And So, The Next Right Thing. 

In her book Love Warrior, Glennon Doyle very aptly identifies the process of moving forward when we are in the Not Knowing by doing the Next Right Thing. In moments of crisis or change, this does not need to involve big list-making, meditation, the weighing of pros and cons, etcetera. This can be (and is) as simple as checking inside of ourselves and naming what we need at that very moment. For example: I am going to feed myself something nourishing and satiating right now. I am going to move my body. I am going to go back to bed. I am going to complete this project. I am going to journal for ten minutes. I am going to feed my children. I am going to clean the toilet. I am going to sort these clothes. I am going to call my best friend. I am going to say yes to this invitation; I am going to say no to this invitation. Etcetera. 

Identifying the Next Right Thing extracts some of the Scary from the human experience of crisis and Not Knowing. It is unreasonable to attempt to make a thorough plan to move ourselves to a new city in a new way within one day, but we can take many tiny steps in that direction over the course of many days, and honor our own thoughts and needs by acknowledging them along the way. We can be intentional, and we can make small moves. We can take the time to take very good care of ourselves. We can consider what is right for us. We can allow ourselves not to know answers, and not to make decisions about them, because we are making decisions about other, smaller things. I will write this blog post. I will sit quietly in the garden for ten minutes. I will make myself a cup of tea. I will rest. Rest seems to be a big ticket item in the Next Right Thing – we need as much of it as we can get when we are Deciding. 

Taking a Moment, Going Inside

I’ve written before that the practice of meditation intimidates me. This is still true. When I consider meditation, I picture sitting for many minutes at a time, and am unable to convince myself that I should be doing something, that something should be happening. (To be fair, I do practice, but it isn’t my most favorite thing). This is not how I feel about taking a moment to check in with what’s going on inside of me and identifying the Next Right Thing. This act is smaller, simpler, and comes more naturally – asking myself what it is that I need, and hearing an answer almost every time. I need to be alone. I need something delicious and decadent. I need to be near the water. Taken in these small chunks of going inside, a whole day can pass in which I’ve done my best to take very good care of myself, and my insides appreciate this. This is my plan in this current moment of Not Knowing. I trust in myself, and in this process.

What is the Next Right Thing for you right now, today?


Originally posted on my blog, Common Humanity, at Psych To read more, visit



Useful Information

Some frequently asked questions and useful answers.

Online therapy works in the same way as in-office therapy, but is done online, similar to a Skype or FaceTime conversation. Clients are able to have sessions from home, work, or any other convenient location. We meet with clients using a HIPAA-compliant secure platform.

Online therapy allows you to work with us from the comfort of home, or any private location of your choosing. For some, the screen provides an added layer of comfort that makes the challenging work of being vulnerable in therapy a little easier.

Online therapy also creates the unique opportunity for you to work with us without the constraints of proximity! The practice was born in Keene, New Hampshire, but has since grown to service clients anywhere in Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, Connecticut, Vermont, New Jersey, Florida, and New Hampshire.

Online therapy is a great option for clients that travel for work, for college students that go home during the summertime and do not want a break in their sessions, and for anyone with a challenging or inconsistent day-to-day schedule. It is an excellent choice for clients seeking a therapist with a particular specialty that they are unable to find support for locally. Some of our clients report that online therapy makes the vulnerability element of therapy a bit less intimidating.

No. For some clients with more complex symptoms or safety concerns, having a local therapist that is readily available is important in case of crisis or the need for a higher level of care. Online therapy is also a challenge for clients that do not have access to a private, quiet space to be “in session” for the hour, or for those that do not have adequate internet connectivity.

There are several reasons why we don’t accept insurance. The most important are:

Confidentiality. Insurance companies require that your information be shared with them in order to pay for services. We prefer that clients’ information is kept as confidential as possible.

The pressure to diagnose. Insurance companies require that clients are given a mental health diagnosis in order to pay for therapy. We have found that many clients benefit from therapy, but do not meet criteria for a diagnosis. Not using insurance allows clients to access therapy without being given a mental health diagnosis.

Flexibility and freedom. Insurance companies dictate the length and number of sessions they will authorize, as well as when a client is no longer eligible for the benefits of therapy. Because we do not work with insurance panels, you and we can collaborate to determine your individual needs regarding session length, frequency of sessions, and when to terminate therapy.

While we do not accept insurance, many clients choose to submit receipts to their insurance companies to receive reimbursement via out-of-network benefits. We are happy to provide these receipts for you! Please check with your insurance company for details on your benefits.



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