Self-Care versus Life-Care (or, how to talk about caring for the self in a way that’s actually meaningful)

I was at lunch with a group of friends the other day when I announced that I’m over the whole notion of self-care. It is no longer interesting to me, and I think it's a rather poor promoter of true health and wellness. Stay with me, here.  Self-care has been reduced to clickbait. It’s a … Continue reading Self-Care versus Life-Care (or, how to talk about caring for the self in a way that’s actually meaningful)

Three Reasons We Shame One Another, And Why We Should Stop.

In the therapy world, our ears become attuned to our own distinct language, one that we sometimes forget is our own. We throw around terminology like “transgenerational trauma” and “stress mechanisms” and forget that the rest of the world doesn’t routinely speak that way. We insulate ourselves with these terms, and tend to understand one … Continue reading Three Reasons We Shame One Another, And Why We Should Stop.

Your Very Own Monster-In-A-Box

Therapists come up with all sorts of terminology to name this and that - we work with the same problems and ideas repeatedly, and need images and language to describe human experience. Sometimes we come up with our own labels and concepts. The Monster-in-a- box is one of mine. The Monster is the thing that … Continue reading Your Very Own Monster-In-A-Box

Therapy is my calling, but writing is nurturing my soul.

  Like many of my colleagues that feel deeply connected to the practice of psychotherapy, I believe that I was built for this kind of work. When in the therapy room, I feel capable, confident, and clear – this is what I have always done; this is what I do.  When I attend trainings on methods … Continue reading Therapy is my calling, but writing is nurturing my soul.

Is “Powering Through It” Really A Good Thing?

I recently received a text citing a friend doing something that was hard for him, and struggling with it. “It’s ok, though,” said the text, “he’s powering through it.”  “Blech,” I thought to myself. Then I typed “Is that really actually good, though?”.  And then I deleted it, because nobody was asking for my opinion … Continue reading Is “Powering Through It” Really A Good Thing?