Books to be better: Melody Beattie’s Codependent No More.

Codependency refers to a relationship in which one party has excessive emotional or psychological reliance on the other. Cited often in terms of addiction (a codependent relationship between an addict and their enabling partner, parent, friend, etc.), codependency also pops up frequently in relationships in which someone is struggling with mental or physical illness. More broadly, codependency applies to those of us that are driven to “fix” what’s wrong with the people in our lives. Do you feel like you a have a faulty “picker” in relationships? You might have codependent tendencies.

In this way, the concept of codependency resonates with many of us in one way or another. Using personal, relatable stories, Beattie describes codependency as the very common issue that it is, and allows the reader to identify themselves with the concept without feeling pathologized or judged.

The book encourages us to re-evaluate how we treat ourselves in our relationships to others, and gently encourages the idea that boundary-setting is not selfish, but a marker of health, self-care, and self-respect. Beattie stresses the importance of self-compassion again and again, and asks obvious but important questions (like, “Have I observed myself to be an approval-seeker, losing myself in the process?”) that gently urge the reader’s consideration of new choices. Throughout, the book compels the reader to prioritize their own wants and needs in their relationships with others, and walks through the emotional steps necessary to meet that elusive end goal.

It should be noted that Beattie references God, as well as Al-Anon and the 12 steps, in the book (rather frequently). If you are comfortable with references to God and the 12 steps, or don’t mind looking past them, I recommend the read. If that seems off-putting to you, then this is not your book.

If you are interested, you can buy Beattie’s book here.


Useful Information

Some frequently asked questions and useful answers.

Online therapy works in the same way as in-office therapy, but is done online, similar to a Skype or FaceTime conversation. Clients are able to have sessions from home, work, or any other convenient location. We meet with clients using a HIPAA-compliant secure platform.

Online therapy allows you to work with us from the comfort of home, or any private location of your choosing. For some, the screen provides an added layer of comfort that makes the challenging work of being vulnerable in therapy a little easier.

Online therapy also creates the unique opportunity for you to work with us without the constraints of proximity! The practice was born in Keene, New Hampshire, but has since grown to service clients anywhere in Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, Connecticut, Vermont, New Jersey, Florida, and New Hampshire.

Online therapy is a great option for clients that travel for work, for college students that go home during the summertime and do not want a break in their sessions, and for anyone with a challenging or inconsistent day-to-day schedule. It is an excellent choice for clients seeking a therapist with a particular specialty that they are unable to find support for locally. Some of our clients report that online therapy makes the vulnerability element of therapy a bit less intimidating.

No. For some clients with more complex symptoms or safety concerns, having a local therapist that is readily available is important in case of crisis or the need for a higher level of care. Online therapy is also a challenge for clients that do not have access to a private, quiet space to be “in session” for the hour, or for those that do not have adequate internet connectivity.

There are several reasons why we don’t accept insurance. The most important are:

Confidentiality. Insurance companies require that your information be shared with them in order to pay for services. We prefer that clients’ information is kept as confidential as possible.

The pressure to diagnose. Insurance companies require that clients are given a mental health diagnosis in order to pay for therapy. We have found that many clients benefit from therapy, but do not meet criteria for a diagnosis. Not using insurance allows clients to access therapy without being given a mental health diagnosis.

Flexibility and freedom. Insurance companies dictate the length and number of sessions they will authorize, as well as when a client is no longer eligible for the benefits of therapy. Because we do not work with insurance panels, you and we can collaborate to determine your individual needs regarding session length, frequency of sessions, and when to terminate therapy.

While we do not accept insurance, many clients choose to submit receipts to their insurance companies to receive reimbursement via out-of-network benefits. We are happy to provide these receipts for you! Please check with your insurance company for details on your benefits.



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