Alone, Alive, & Impatient.

A somewhat personal story…

Several months ago my husband and I pulled off a rather miraculous feat and paid off the last of my student loans, taking us fully out of debt, aside from our home mortgage. This was not an accident; it was the result of a years-long, tedious, drawn-out plan to become debt-free and to open ourselves up to the unique lives we really want for ourselves. My dream version of this life included regular travel, classes at the circus school, a fancy Y membership, and consistent get togethers throughout the year with friends across the globe. I could not WAIT to begin living these things as soon as we paid off our debt. As soon as the debt was gone in March. In March, of 2020. 

Hilarious, right? Because, surprise! Exactly zero of the things that I was dreaming about and waiting for and working towards are available to me for the foreseeable future. So it goes. The universe sure has a slick sense of humor. 

Patience is a virtue, but it’s not my virtue. I am Bad at patience. I like to decide upon a thing, do the thing, and have the next thing planned halfway through the first thing. I don’t like to wait, and I certainly can’t abide when there’s no end date in sight. My impulse is to become irritable and angry, frustrated, and try to control everything I can. Except, there is nothing to control in a Covid world. Outside of the mask on my face and washing my hands, literally nothing is controllable. 

What a massive test of my puny Patience muscles. 

There was a show that I watched ages ago where a bunch of people go into the woods alone and they see who can make it the longest (I think it was called Alone?…Alive?…Alone and Alive?) without calling for help or breaking down and asking to go home. The last one standing wins a million dollars or something else equally amazing. What was fascinating about this show was that the eventual winner was by far the most boring contestant in the mix. While everyone else was building yurts and hunting and making fishing doodads, he mostly sat in his tent and slept. Sometimes he came out and caught a thing, and then he ate that thing over the next few days while he slept and rested and slept some more. It was the most anticlimactic win of all time. One woman hacked part of her hand off with a hatchet, and another guy had a nervous breakdown. This guy, our winner, did nothing for a few months, was informed that he won, nodded, and went back home. Nonplussed, victorious. 

Lessons, right?

As we routinely talk about in the therapy room: in many instances of adversity, there’s some amount of opportunity. I’m stretching myself here, but perhaps this opportunity is to let go, to take good care, to relinquish control (hint: we never had it, anyway) and to wait. Sit tight. Rest, and wait it out, and see what’s on the other side, whenever the other side appears. Guys, it’s out there. Maybe there’s a million dollars waiting for us, or some equally tantalizing prize, if we can just let things be long enough to get to it. 

I know it’s hard. It’s Hard. But I’m doing this Hard thing with you. We’re doing it together. Hang in.

For tonight, we are resting. Patience. Rest. Patience. 


Useful Information

Some frequently asked questions and useful answers.

Online therapy works in the same way as in-office therapy, but is done online, similar to a Skype or FaceTime conversation. Clients are able to have sessions from home, work, or any other convenient location. We meet with clients using a HIPAA-compliant secure platform.

Online therapy allows you to work with us from the comfort of home, or any private location of your choosing. For some, the screen provides an added layer of comfort that makes the challenging work of being vulnerable in therapy a little easier.

Online therapy also creates the unique opportunity for you to work with us without the constraints of proximity! The practice was born in Keene, New Hampshire, but has since grown to service clients anywhere in Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, Connecticut, Vermont, New Jersey, Florida, and New Hampshire.

Online therapy is a great option for clients that travel for work, for college students that go home during the summertime and do not want a break in their sessions, and for anyone with a challenging or inconsistent day-to-day schedule. It is an excellent choice for clients seeking a therapist with a particular specialty that they are unable to find support for locally. Some of our clients report that online therapy makes the vulnerability element of therapy a bit less intimidating.

No. For some clients with more complex symptoms or safety concerns, having a local therapist that is readily available is important in case of crisis or the need for a higher level of care. Online therapy is also a challenge for clients that do not have access to a private, quiet space to be “in session” for the hour, or for those that do not have adequate internet connectivity.

There are several reasons why we don’t accept insurance. The most important are:

Confidentiality. Insurance companies require that your information be shared with them in order to pay for services. We prefer that clients’ information is kept as confidential as possible.

The pressure to diagnose. Insurance companies require that clients are given a mental health diagnosis in order to pay for therapy. We have found that many clients benefit from therapy, but do not meet criteria for a diagnosis. Not using insurance allows clients to access therapy without being given a mental health diagnosis.

Flexibility and freedom. Insurance companies dictate the length and number of sessions they will authorize, as well as when a client is no longer eligible for the benefits of therapy. Because we do not work with insurance panels, you and we can collaborate to determine your individual needs regarding session length, frequency of sessions, and when to terminate therapy.

While we do not accept insurance, many clients choose to submit receipts to their insurance companies to receive reimbursement via out-of-network benefits. We are happy to provide these receipts for you! Please check with your insurance company for details on your benefits.



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